"Jim, I don't expect you to understand this, but I'm not going solo today". Sally (not her real name) was immovable. "I'll solo the day after John does."
It was the summer of 1964. Women had been able to vote in this country for forty four years. I was a brash twenty three year old flight instructor. The hard charging young woman I was to meet and marry five years later was a few miles away attending classes. Sally was trim, sixty and savvy. Her performance as a student had been superb. She was ready to solo, but she refused to go, and she was right, I didn't understand.
A few days later, in a confidential setting, one of the owners of the flying school explained it to me. By all outside appearances, John was a very successful business man whose wife just happened to help out a little in the office. That was how it appeared. That was not how it was. Sally ran the place. She kept John busy going to meetings and looking important while she quietly and brilliantly built the business.
It clearly worked for them.
Fast forward thirty years. Women have now been able to vote in this country for seventy four years. We have equal rights and affirmative action. This country's first female fighter pilot recently died in an aircraft accident. It barely made the first page.
I am now fifty three and a CPA. The hard charging young woman I married twenty five years ago is now a successful professional woman. My office does her books.
Times have changed. In this country, it is generally no longer necessary for a woman to manage through her husband or some other man, and most don't. This is particularly so in the construction industry, where being an MWBE (Minority or Woman Business Enterprise) also provides lucrative advantages such as set aside contracts.
This progress, however, has come with a price. Divorce rates up; more kids at risk; drug usage up; more runaways, etc. At first glance, it might appear that by turning thousands of years of patriarchy on its head in the short space of seventy four years we have severely impaired our civilization. On the other hand, maybe we just don't understand our history. The following commentary comes from a very old book - Proverbs - some 3000 years old.
A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.
She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.
In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.
She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
Considering the changed context
over
the course of 3000 years, this appears to be a pretty good description
of a modern female executive in a family business; also a pretty good
description
of my hard charging wife.